Engagement Party Etiquette
Engagement party etiquette has no absolute hard and fast rules. Times are changing, so you may come across a lot of different ideas about engagement parties and party etiquette. What is most important, and is always important when it comes to wedding planning, is that the engagement party and all it entails is decided on between the engaged couple and their families to make sure that everyone is comfortable.
Who hosts the engagement party?
It is traditionally the bride's parents who give the engagement party. If they are not able to give the party, then the groom's family may choose to host. Although really it can be hosted by anyone who would like to give the engagement party in honor of the engaged couple, especially if the parents are unable to do so for whatever reason. In some cases, the engaged couple themselves choose to host their own engagement party.
The invitations to the engagement party can be printed with language to announce the engagement, such as "In Honor of Jack and Lucy" or similar verbiage depending on the formality of the party. It is not polite for guests to be expected to pay for any part of the party, the person who invites the guests should be the one who is giving the party.
Who should be invited?
Traditionally it is only the family and close friends of the engaged couple who are invited. It may be a small intimate affair, especially if the parents of the bride and groom have yet to meet. It is important to note that those invited to the engagement party should also be invited to the wedding.
If the couple prefers, they may choose to have an engagement party just for their families and another engagement party for their friends.
Where should the engagement party be?
The engagement party itself may be a cocktail party or a dinner party; and depending on the style of the couple, an engagement party may even be a picnic or another casual affair. If the couple is planning their own engagement party with their friends, then they may choose to have it at a happy hour or another type of casual setting.
When should it be planned?
An engagement party can be planned shortly after the couple is engaged, although some couples may decide to wait until the wedding planning process has begun or until further along in a long engagement.
For a long engagement, it can be held about a year or so before the wedding, perhaps three months after the couple is engaged. For a shorter wedding, it can be held anytime after the engagement, preferably at least six months before the wedding.
The main reason for the engagement party is to announce to family and friends that the couple is now engaged, so when the couple feels comfortable announcing their engagement to those outside of the family, then the engagement party planning can begin.
Are engagement gifts appropriate?
While it is not traditional that guests bring engagement gifts, it is also not shunned. The engagement party invitation may note whether gifts are appropriate, but if it does not, then you may need to ask around, usually someone who is close to the bride, if you are unsure. Some couples register for wedding gifts early, so you may find a wedding registry where you can find gift ideas. If not, then a personalized gift for the couple or a gift for their home is appropriate.
If gifts are received at the engagement party, then they will not likely be opened at the party, but saved for the couple to open at another time because it may make guests who did not bring a gift feel uncomfortable.
Who should give a toast?
It is common that both family and friends are allowed to give a toast to celebrate the newly engaged couple. Often the person who is hosting the event gives the first toast. If you would like to give a toast, you should consult with the host to ask if there will be a time scheduled for giving a toast to the couple; also, you do not want to overstep the rights of host who should always be the first one to give a toast.
Engagement Party Planning Resources
It is becoming more popular for hosts of the engagement party to set a theme for the event. Sometimes the theme for an engagement party can be as simple as celebrating the season in which the party will be held. Other times, you may find engagement party themes to be elaborate productions that pull out all the stops at making the party unforgettable.
Engagement party invitations are the best way to set the mood of the party. If you want to create an extra special invitation, then you might browse through invitations that can be customized with your favorite photos, fonts, colors, and so much more.
Engagement party favors can be a special little treat that your guests can take home. Party favors can be handmade, ordered from a gift store, or even customized online. Many favors are usually tied to the theme of the party and become a memento that will remind your guests about the fabulous party long after they have gone home.